- Tim Nudd

Paris Hilton is sometimes able to laugh at her own image -- most notably during the 2008 election, when she mock-ran for president after John McCain compared Barack Obama's celebrity to hers. But she won't be amused if you plaster a photo of her, along with the word "Vacant" in giant type, without her permission, on billboards for rent. That's what happened in New Zealand last week, as an outdoor ad company called Media5 thought it would be a great way to draw attention to its unused inventory. Of course, nothing's local anymore, and photos soon made their way to the heiress, who threatened legal action. Media5 blamed its creative agency. Said the owner: "We assume the agency has taken care of the rights to the image of Paris, but we will ask the question."

The other big skirmish of the week was Stephen Colbert versus Miracle Whip. A little background: Miracle Whip broke a new ad campaign this fall from mcgarrybowen in which it claims to be hipper than mayonnaise. Colbert took exception to that, and in October he backed mayo in a goofy PSA on The Colbert Report. Last Thursday night, Miracle Whip hit back, buying time during every ad break on the show (and placing newspaper ads) to remind Colbert just how "massively dope" Miracle Whip is. Colbert facetiously admitted defeat on the air. "Thank you for buying ad time on my show," he said. "I could certainly use the money ... to buy more delicious mayonnaise!"

Pre-roll ads are intrusive and a waste of your time. They're only interesting when they include neat special effects or dead people. Realizing this, video-game developer Ubisoft has released a handful of pre-roll ads featuring neat special effects AND dead people. The 15-second clips promote a game called Assassin's Creed 2. They're shot in painstaking slow motion, as the camera pulls back from the lifeless faces of characters that you will very much enjoy killing if you buy the game. Cutwater did the spots, along with a longer version that incorporates gameplay footage.

Finally, and most disgustingly, we posted an Australia spot last week by DDB Melbourne that graphically demonstrates the need to swaddle your infant in resilient BabyLove diapers. Other diapers can handle No. 1's and No. 2's, the ad says. Only BabyLove can deal with No. 3's, aka "poop explosions," which are so forceful, apparently, that they can cover the inside of your car.

Best of BrandFreak: Celebrity look-alikes shine in ads

AdFreak's sister blog, BrandFreak, explored an interesting topic last week: celebrity look-alikes in ads. With marketing budgets cut, there isn't as much cash for celebrity endorsements these days. But look-alikes come cheap, and seem to be popping up more often. Benetton is using a model who looks a lot like Nick Jonas. The recent "Drinkability" spots from Bud Light featured an actor who could be Dave Chappelle's twin brother. For a Philippine spot for heartburn remedy Motilium, the agency found a Barack Obama look-alike, who also has the president's mannerisms down pat. Sometimes, getting an approximation is the only option-e.g., if the actual person has passed away. We've seen resurrected versions of many famous people in recent ads: Adolf Hitler, James Dean and  legendary actress Mabel Normand among them. The real thing? In ads, it's not always the case.