Memorial Day! Since it’s probably going to rain all over your weekend, here’s some sort-of-ad-related videos to entertain you. Or, more likely, to help you waste time before the bell tolls marking the end of this gods damned week. Videos, mofo, in yo face. This week, The Gatsby is greater than we remember he was in grade school, people get it on in Australia and some late week dubstep that will remind you of your childhood.
9. Fruit! It’s delicious and nutritious. Now that the word play part of this blurb is done, here’s the part where I describe how a juice company convinced some fruits to grow themselves in the shape of juice boxes. I’d like to try this technique on my gut, and somehow convince it to grow into David Beckham’s abs. But then I’d still have these man boobs, so what’s the point.
8. You remember most of 7th grade, right? The random, uncontrollable erections, lack of body hair and more to the point, the shift from books like Goosebumps to actual books like The Things They Carried and The Great Gatsby. The latter was a bit hard for this writer’s 7th grade brain to comprehend (what with all those naked ladies floating around in there), which is best exampled through this trailer for the Great Gatsby. Old Gats seems like a cool guy with a cool car and superfluous shirts. My memory doesn’t recall any of those factors, but apparently they happened.
7. Cults! There are many kinds of them, from religious ones to “of personality” ones. So a guy decides he’s going to demonstrate that cults are stupid, but starting his own cult, becoming a legit guru and actually changing peoples’ lives.
6. James Bond! He’s sort of this site’s unofficial mascot. And now he’s got another story to tell us about his adventures, and conveniently he’s telling it through Daniel Craig’s muscles and some film. Skyfall, which is presumably about the sky somehow falling, comes out – sometime. Here’s the preview.
5. Dub Step still exists. Here’s a clip where your favorite childhood games are turned into sound-o-meters, via stop motion.
4. EVERYONE IS A PORN VOYEUR! At least that’s the idea behind this Lynx (aka Axe) spot that came out recently. It’s less spot and more “look what we did”, following an “experience” where Lynx let people look into a house where people were doin it. Sort of. Watch.
3. The universe! It’s awesome. And quite large. But did you know it also employs a cool new technology called parallax scrolling? Kidding. Sort of. Parallax is actually a technique for measuring great distances (aka star to planet), and we use it to measure the size of the universe. It’s, in a word, kindabig. This clip is not so much an ad as it is a “how we do it” for all us laymen.
2. Here’s an eye-opening clip about what it’s like to have Autism. Take the 2:19 needed to watch this clip so you can say you learned something REAL today.
1. Maru the cat is 5 and so goddamn adorable I just want to pop his little head. Her head? Whatever, cat video (all cat videos are the unofficial advertising campaign for the internet, if you were wondering how I rationalize including this kind of stuff).