Introducing Mono’s ‘Resolution Simplifier’

By Bob Marshall Comment

With 2011 being served fresh from Father Time’s oven, New Year’s resolutions are currently underway. Minneapolis-based Mono knows how difficult lying about self-improvement can be, so the agency’s introduced its own online device, a “Resolution Simplifier” if you will that’s dedicated to making this year a bit simpler.

It works like this. Type in “I want to lose weight,” push the simplifier button and voila, Mono instructs you to “Hang out with morbidly obese people.” Makes sense, but how about “I want to save money.” *Simplify* “Sleep through breakfast. Croissants are expensive.”

But, for those of us with less traditional resolutions, the Simplifier can be a bit trickier. “I want to rob a bank.” *Simplify* “Draw ‘bank’ in under a minute.” Well, as I’m not much of an artist, and I didn’t realize that I was hypothetically playing cards with the internet, this makes no sense. Huh. How about my other resolution, “I want to become Yoko Ono’s next great love. *Simplify* “Draw ‘love’ in under a minute.” I guess it was fun while it lasted.