Recently, Toyotas started killing people by not letting them stop (except by putting the car in neutral, which you should try to remember). Result: their tag “Moving Forward” is scary now. Let’s rewrite it in ways that poke fun at the snowballing tragedy that is the automobile industry (unless you’re Ford, Hyundai or Kia).
To get you started, we posted a few after the jump.
— “Moving Forward, but Slowly and with Complete Control”
— “Sorry We Killed Your Neighbor”
— “Give Us a Brake”
— “Progress = Cracking Eggs + ∞” or “Let’s See You Make a Better Omelet”
— “You Be the Test Dummy”
— “Official Sponsor of the American Demolition Derby Association”
— “Great if You’re Running from the Police”
— “World’s Fastest* Automobiles”
*fastest rating taken from daily average speed of all Toyotas
— “Driving America. Into Walls.”
— “Never Passed by the Competition”
— “Lead(foot)ing the Field”
— “RoadRunner Hasn’t Got Shit on Us”
OK your turn. We’ll post the “best” one later on, if anyone takes us up on this stupid idea.