Ten years after Janet Jackson’s “Nipplegate” fiasco (and 55 years after “The Day Music Died,” which reminds of simpler times when people were better at naming things), the Super Bowl has become one of the least controversial broadcast TV events. This year’s spots were, in two words, pretty dull. This morning, water cooler talk centered around what was perhaps Peyton Manning’s worst performance in his storied career, with a few words spent on an adorable puppy befriending horses for Budweiser. Even GoDaddy, America’s idiot PG-rated smut peddlers, were commended by critics for this year creating a spot that was more about a harmless joke than it was about visiting their website to see if Danica Patrick really got naked. Booooorriiiinnnnnggg.
Now, imagine a world in which the above apparently “banned” commercial from Carl’s Jr. ran last night. Would that world be much different from the one that we currently reside in? Well, no, not really. But, at least some group of oversensitive moms in some rural town would have protested this commercial. I mean, do their five-year-olds really need to know that the world is a scary place where scantily dressed cowgirls suck on massive sausages for minutes on end without taking a bite? What about when that mayo or butter or whatever drops slowly onto her left breast? One might say it’s suggestive of semen, dripping slowly off of a large penis getting sucked off at a ranch. Yes, one might.
As for the origin of this spot, we’ve reached out to 72andSunny who tell us the spot was definitely not from them. Also, last we heard, Carl’s Jr. doesn’t make a breakfast sandwich with a comically large sausage stuck in its center. So, we assume it’s some prankster doing it on spec somewhere because he or she was bored. But, in the meantime, we’ll just pretend that this actually ran during the Super Bowl, and that we had something…ANYTHING…more to talk about today.
(Updated): We have no a brief statement from CKE Restaurants’ brand’s Carl’s Jr. on the spot:
On behalf of CKE Restaurants, Inc., parent company to Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s restaurants, They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. But, we had nothing to do with this spoof ad.'”