There are no words to describe just how awful SMOSH’s “Meat Vs. Crust Rap Battle” is. The video is leading voting for Defy Media’s new digital campaign for Hot Pockets (two words innocent enough on their own, that, when combined, provoke an unmistakable feeling of terrible nausea).
Defy Media’s campaign for the lazy college student’s standby, fresh off a recent product recall due to possibly tainted meat, is a March Madness style bracket battle called “Sandwich Showdown.” The musical competition, which began March 18th and is timed to coincide with March Madness, pits #TeamMeat against #TeamCrust; with SMOSH and The Warp Zone facing off to win the chance to represent #TeamMeat, and Brittani Louise Taylor facing Taryn Southern to represent #TeamCrust. Voting for “Sandwich Showdown,” which takes place at Hot Pockets’ Facebook page, is still in its semifinal stage. So if you’d like to cast your vote such gems as “I’m in Crust with You” and “Love at First Bite” you only have eleven days to do so. To be fair, the other entrants aren’t so bad as SMOSH. Brittani Louise Taylor’s “I’m In Crust With You” is affably ridiculous in a much more watchable way, complete with life size Hot Pockets guy as her long-lost love. She gets my vote, or would if I cared enough to cast a vote at least.
“We’re pumped to put our own musical spin on the Hot Pockets brand for the ultimate Sandwich Showdown,” said SMOSH’s Anthony Padilla and Ian Hecox. “This is going to be a delicious lyrical competition like you’ve never seen and we can’t wait to face-off and let our viewers decide which one of us reigns supreme.” This statement marks the only recorded instance of “Hot Pockets”and “delicious” being used within two sentences. Stick around for “I’m In Crust With You” after the jump, and if you haven’t seen it you owe it to yourself to check out Jim Gaffigan’s Hot Pockets bit, which I can’t help thinking of every time I hear anything to do with the culinary missiles of misery.