Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Though, is it really happy? You spend hundreds on a plane ticket home only to hear everyone complain about how you never come home, yet those jackoffs scoff at the mere mention of taking a trip to New York to see you. “You make enough to come home regularly,” they say. Do you know how much a coffee goes for in this town grandma? SHUT UP. And then there’s the “holiday” – a diatribe I’ll save for the appropriate time. Nonetheless, at least you won’t have any clients to answer to – until Thursday night, probably, when your AE will ring you and ask if you can send one more deliverable through. Hopefully you’ll have enough tryptophan and booze in you not to care. So if nothing else, let’s be thankful for that, as well as unguarded tubs of Cool Whip. Cool hawhip. Say it with me.
4. If you haven’t seen this one by now, you’re doing it wrong. We’d add to the list of dumb ways to die – “working in advertising”.
3. Raise your hand if, like me, you’re glad you didn’t show up in this video, picking your nose in an elevator.
2. All around me are familiar faces, of children dying all over the world. Well, maybe just the kid sitting behind me on this plane.
1. This one you’ll really like – where a bunch of people collect tons of leaves and then pile them up next to a house and then jump off said house into said pile of leaves. Good on ya.