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Jerry Seinfeld Gets Brutally Honest About Advertising in This Hilarious Speech at the Clios No, really, he loves what you do

Host Whoopi Goldberg brought the funny all evening long at Wednesday's 55th Clio Awards in New York. But it was Jerry Seinfeld who brought down the house with a brilliant, hilarious speech about why he loves advertising—which ended up being a blistering anti-advertising rant that comically eviscerated the business.

"I love advertising because I love lying," Seinfeld began. And he only got more brutally honest from there.

"I just want to enjoy the commercial," he said. "We know the product is going to stink. We know that because we live in the world, and we know that everything stinks. We all believe, 'Hey, maybe this one won't stink.' We are a hopeful species. Stupid but hopeful. But we're happy in that moment between the commercial and the purchase. And I think spending your life trying to dupe innocent people out of hard-won earnings to buy useless, low-quality, misrepresented items and services is an excellent use of your energy."

Adweek responsive video player used on /video.

Seinfeld also mentioned the debacle that happened at the 1991 Clio Awards, when greedy attendees rushed the stage in a mad grab for Clios they hadn't won. That's his favorite award-show story, Seinfeld said, because it's so honest.

There were roars of laughter—because of course, Seinfeld is hardly an innocent party in the ad game. He's done plenty of lying and duping over the years, most recently for Acura, and was getting an Honorary Award for that work last night. (He also thanked Ogilvy & Mather and American Express for getting him into the business to begin with.)

But while most attendees agreed the speech was the highlight of the night, there may have been a few hurt feelings here and there. As an award winner said in his speech later in the night, "Apparently everything I do is meaningless. But it was Jerry Seinfeld who said it, so I suppose that makes it OK."

Via, which just unveiled a new blog this week. (Disclosure: Adweek and the Clio Awards are both owned by affiliates of Guggenheim Partners.)

October 2, 2014, 2:42 PM EDT

Subway Wants Women to Eat Right So They'll Be Sexier in Their Sexy Halloween Costumes Update: The ad's been pulled

Ladies, bikini season may be over, but Subway wants to remind you that sexy Halloween costume season is still nigh.

In a somewhat awkward spot built around the idea of modeling your "sassy" and "foxy" outfits for co-workers over lunch (as one does), the chain ends on the note, "Whatever you're staying fit for, start at Subway."

I guess in a world where Sexy Olaf is a sell-out Halloween sensation, this is the Subway ad we deserve.

UPDATE: Subway appears to have pulled this ad from YouTube after it began receiving negative attention from national outlets like Time and Today.

Here's an animated GIF we made from it before it was taken down:

And here's a copy not on YouTube:

Via Adrants.

October 2, 2014, 12:11 PM EDT

Walter White/Heisenberg and Other Classic Alter Egos Get Their Own Business Cards Designs for split personalities

Online printing company does some pretty great self-promotions. And its latest one is particularly inspired—a set of business cards for famous fictional alter egos like Walter White/Heisenberg, Bruce Wayne/Batman and Clark Kent/Superman.

The "Double Lives" collection promotes MOO's new square business card, which appears to be perfect for meth makers and superheroes.

See more over at The Drum.

Click to Read More →

October 2, 2014, 10:32 AM EDT

Viagra Airs Its First Ad Featuring Only a Woman, and She Gets Right to the Point A less chaste approach

This minute-long BBDO spot for Viagra is, apparently, the brand's first to show only a woman, and its first to use the word "erection" outside of the description of side effects.

Here, an attractive woman in a slinky blue dress poses on what appears to be an unmade bed or some sort of mattress, assuring us, "Plenty of guys have this issue—not just getting an erection, but keeping it." She's got an British accent, so you know she means business. An agency rep says it's a new direction designed to focus on the partner's point of view.

That's a big change from past campaigns, which told men's stories and kept women in the background, if they were shown at all. "The intensifying of the marketing message makes sense, considering Viagra's patent expires in three years, along with its monopoly," NBC's Today points out.

Viagra ads used to be about as chaste and subdued as they could be while advertising boner pills. For example, this spot from a couple of years ago keeps the focus on some guy and his sailboat. No women in that dude's crew. Not even a mermaid off the starboard bow.

That traditional level of restraint makes the new ad (also awash in nautical imagery, by the way), well ... stick out, and not in an altogether positive way. It feels tacky, and could almost be viewed as an exercise in objectification: Take Viagra, and claim your prize!

Plus, some elements seem like overkill. She says "erection." Do we really need the ship masts in the distance, rising straight and tall? Or that long pier jutting into the briny deep? And flagpoles planted in the sand?

October 1, 2014, 5:08 PM EDT

Inspired by the City's Ex-Con Mayoral Candidate, Providence Agency Turns to a Life of Crime Adding muscle to your work with 'mobvertising'

Buddy Cianci served as the mayor of Providence, R.I., for two decades and is running again this fall, despite having been convicted of two felonies over the years—for assault and corruption—and spending time in federal prison.

Providence ad agency Nail seems pretty impressed by Cianci and apparently wants to follow in his footsteps. But can crime pay for an ad agency?

Find out below as Nail takes some tentative steps into the shadowy world of "mobvertising," and encourages people to vote in the process.

October 1, 2014, 3:16 PM EDT

'Eat Like You Give a F*ck,' Says This Hilariously Profane Ad for a Cookbook The Thug Kitchen to the rescue

It's hard to eat healthy. If you're the type of person who's looking for inspiration to start putting better things in your mouth, you're not alone. Sometimes we just need a little nudge in the right direction. 

The Thug Kitchen Cookbook might just be that shining beacon of motivation to get you going in your quest for wholesome living. According to this amusing ad for it, it's "full of delicious, plant-based recipes" designed to set you right. 

The fine print says the food was tested by experts: "The effectiveness of the Thug Kitchen Cookbook was tested rigorously by us and our friends. It was scientific as hell. We made graphs, charts, diagrams and all kinds of shit. We even bought lab coats to make it feel more legit. Product results were consistently tasty and in rare cases, leftovers were produced."

The book will be published by Rodale later this month. But if you want a taste of what's to come, there's a website (heads up, it's laden with profanity, but hysterical) and an Instagram feed.

Check out the spot below, but fair warning: The language is extremely NSFW, so put your headphones on now!

Via Ads of the World.

Click to Read More →

October 1, 2014, 11:42 AM EDT

Here's the First Condom Ad Aimed at Sex-Positive, Environmentally Minded Feminists Nothing but the best for her vagina

Sustain has become the first condom brand to aggressively market to clearly unmarried women for the sake of recreational sex with globe-trotting good Samaritans.

Jeff and Meika Hollender, the father-daughter duo who started the brand (yes, condoms can be a family business), were looking for someone to buy into rubbers made with sustainable rubber. And naturally, they looked to women.

It's not a small market. Some 40 percent of condoms are bought by women, and research says most of those women hate buying them. Worse, only 19 percent of women age 22-44 use condoms regularly. Sustain wanted single women to be more comfortable buying their own condoms and insisting that men use them.

Which brings us to our sex-positive protagonist. She doesn't rely on her hot, socially conscious lay to have an unexpired, unscented, properly sized condom. No, she buys her own, and because she's all about practicing what she preaches, she makes sure they're produced with sustainable, fair-trade rubber from a brand that also gives 10 percent back to support women's reproductive health.

Yes, this modern woman with her slight southern draw has all the shock potential but without quite the acting chops of the Poo-Pouri girl. But all Sustain has to do is get some conservatives upset about this ad showing a lady who enjoys having sex for fun, and it could go all the way.

October 1, 2014, 10:27 AM EDT

Citizen Flies Westward, Chasing an Endless Sunset, in Global Campaign From W+K Watchmaker races across time

If you fly westward at just the right speed, at just the right latitude, you can witness a perpetual sunset—a ghostly twilight that lingers, hour after hour, as you cross from one time zone to the next. For Citizen Watches, this was an intriguing thought—and soon became a compelling challenge, as the brand decided such a stunt would be a great way to show off its new Eco-Drive Satellite Wave F100 watch, which automatically adjusts to a new time zone in just three seconds.

Soon, Wieden + Kennedy's Amsterdam and Tokyo offices were deep into planning just such a flight. They found a pilot (Jonathan Nicol) to do the flying, and a photographer (Simon Roberts) to take pictures of the never-ending, though ever-evolving sunset. And one day in late February, they took off from Reykjavik in Iceland and headed for the Arctic Circle—documenting the experience for a new global campaign.

The result is the five-minute film below, the centerpiece of the integrated campaign.

They flew at an exact latitude of 80 degrees, where the Earth rotates at 289.95 kilometers per hour. Flying in the opposite direction to the Earth's rotation, they were able to stay in the same moment in time and experience the same sunset over and over again—each time in a new location. (Roberts' sunset photos were used to craft the print and digital ads.)

The tagline: "Better starts now."

"When you have a product as remarkable as this, you need to do something remarkable with it," said Michael Farr, executive creative director at Wieden + Kennedy Tokyo. "We needed something that showed off its ability to flex through time zones but show it in an engaging, honest way. The idea of chasing the sun across time zones was just that—a demonstration that put the watch through its paces while doing something original and entertaining."

For much more on this campaign, check out The Spot in next Monday's issue of Adweek.

Credits below.

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October 1, 2014, 8:58 AM EDT

BrandShare Content From iStock

Why Bad Stock Photos Make Us Want to Cry And a checklist to avoid them

Picture this: It’s ten o’clock on a Thursday night and you’re still at work. All you want is to finish up the project you’ve been wrestling all week and go home. You just need one final image.

At this point, almost anything will do. But creatives beware: It’s conditions like these that cause some of the worst stock photo crimes to occur.

You yourself might not have committed a stock photo crime, but you've undoubtedly seen your share. Some are so ridiculous that they inevitably become the subjects of mocking posts, like this guy stupidly smiling while signing what may or may not be divorce papers. 

Humor aside, bad stock images do the minimum amount of work and inflict the maximum amount of damage to a final product. In short, they’re visual clichés—the No. 1 enemy of creativity—and consequently overshadow any idea they are meant to illustrate, no matter how clever.

So next time you’re under the gun and desperate, try asking yourself these three questions to make sure you’re not on the verge of a major stock photo blunder.

Is it emotionally authentic?
People hate being lied to, by art or otherwise. Like the best books and movies, winning stock photos present their subjects honestly. That means no shots of executives in a boardroom leaping joyously into the air—even the happiest of workplaces keep their heel clicking to a minimum. No matter what emotion or feeling you’re trying to capture, make sure it strikes a good balance of being both straightforward and subtle. Here's an excellent example of a parent and child shot done well:

Is it happening in a real place?
Too many stock photos take place in an empty white space. They offer up a figure—a woman on a phone, a man with a calculator—but the photo has been taken against a blank white backdrop. Partly this is intended to make it easier to crop and superimpose images on other backgrounds, but too often these void backgrounds make it into a final product. In real life, there are no blank white backdrops. Things happen in living rooms, parks, stores and offices, as seen here: 

Do these people look convincing?
Do the people in the photo feel like real people? Or do they feel like actors hitting you over the head with caricatures of what “happy,” “confused” or “professional” look like? Before choosing an image, ask yourself if you can imagine seeing the person in the picture. Is she someone you’d come across at a neighborhood café, in your office or on the bus? Is she feeling something you’ve felt? A good stock photo does all those things, as with the example here:

If your image is emotionally authentic, happening in a real place and inhabited by people who look convincing, then you've found yourself a good stock photo. Well done, and carry on.

Image credits: iStock by Getty Images (28520330, 23007192, 34369358, 29681602)

October 1, 2014, 8:07 AM EDT

Dollar Shave Club Trolled by Thousand Dollar Shave Society, for Guys Who 'Make Babies on Purpose' Stop slumming it and grow up already

There's a certain type of gentleman who can't be bothered with clubs. He wouldn't be associated with anything other than a society. And if you're the type of chap who needs some pampering, well, perhaps you'll be willing to pay $1,000 to shave the hair off your face.

The Thousand Dollar Shave Society (a blatant troll on the Dollar Shave Club) is aimed at a different class of male who enjoys the finer things in life, like shaving utensils made of animal parts. The goal of the video below is to encourage manscapers to treat themselves to a classy evening of intentional baby making because apparently dudes who use normal razors just aren't ready to make babies on purpose.

What on earth is in this kit that makes it $1,000? Well, it turns out the base price is $245, but there's an optional item called a "Stag Antler Shaving Mug" that costs $755.

So, take a look at this entertaining spot for a preposterous product.

And order at your own risk.

September 30, 2014, 12:27 PM EDT


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