Carve Watermelons and Master Butt Ping Pong at Windows Training Camp Were Microsoft ads really for 'Asian markets only'? Doubtful.

Gape in awe at these impressive "Windows 8 Training Camp" videos that dramatize product benefits through the goofiest of competitions. In "Makeup," three women have 10 seconds to apply cosmetics, with results that are hilariously mixed. In "Piano," we are introduced to two men who balance work and play by tickling the ivories while playing pingpong with their buttocks. They’re actually quite talented. And in "Watermelon," three skilled martial artists carve and suggestively finger some watermelons. Microsoft told bloggers the online-only videos were created specifically for Asian markets and were only posted to the global Youtube channel by mistake, but we're not buying it. While I don't speak Korean or Chinese, commenters who are native speakers of both have said on The Verge that the actors in the ads are actually speaking a fake language that's just gibberish, which makes you wonder if the whole odd-Asian vibe and vague backstory for the spots are signs that these were intended to be viral videos from day one. More spots after the jump.

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Lingerie Celebrates Japan's Plan to Stimulate Growth 'Abenomics Bra' is named for inflation-oriented prime minister

Toru Hanai/Reuters

Triumph, a marvelously named Swiss-owned women’s clothier in Japan, has unveiled its annual concept bra, which might just be the first economics-themed lingerie. The Abenomics Bra, named after Prime Minister Shinzo Abe's “three arrow” economic plan to achieve 2 percent inflation, aims to grow bust sizes with 2 percent extra padding. The golden bra features ceremonial Shinto arrows and is paired with a skirt adorned with a target. According to Triumph’s lovely model in the video below, “If a woman thinks she looks beautiful, she will work harder. And that will surely increase inflation and boost the economy. Right?” I’m sure there’s some evidence that attractive bras stimulate growth, but it's probably not the kind Prime Minister Abe is aiming for.

Theater Regrets Having Body-Armored, Assault Rifle-Carrying Cosplayers at Iron Man 3 Premiere Police received 911 calls fearing Aurora-like shooter

Photo via Imgur

A Missouri movie theater today apologized "to those who felt they were in harm’s way" when cosplayers arrived for the Iron Man 3 premiere in Jefferson City carrying fake firearms. The incident was initially described as a "publicity stunt" for the movie's opening weekend, but Capital 8 Theatres says it was simply a group of costumed fans who dressed as S.H.I.E.L.D. agents to make the premiere more entertaining. Unfortunately, several moviegoers were reportedly alarmed by the sight of a man walking into the theater with what looked like body armor and an assault rifle, which some felt was reminiscent of the Aurora, Colo., theater shooting during the 2012 opening weekend of The Dark Knight Rises. (However, some attendees and friends of the cosplayers have stated online that costumes were only worn inside the theater.) The theater has since been skewered in social media, sparking the following apology on Facebook: "We apologize and are sympathetic to those who felt they were in harm’s way with our character promotion for Iron Man 3. This was not a publicity stunt. We have worked with the Cosplacon group on many movies to dress up and help entertain our customers. We have had many complaints about the members dressed specifically as S.H.I.E.L.D. operatives carrying fake guns. We didn’t clearly tell our customers and some people didn’t realize it was for entertainment purposes only. We apologize that police were called to come out to our theater. We have a wonderful working relationship with the Jefferson City Police Department. Going forward we will take the necessary steps to make sure this doesn’t happen again. Security and safety for our customers is our number one priority. " The photo above is part of an Imgur gallery featuring shots reportedly taken at the theater the night of the premiere.

Can You Hear the Tone Hidden in This 'Vision Test'? Ad tricks viewers into seeing need for hearing test

Don't believe everything you see and hear in Draftfcb Toronto's deceptively clever TV and interactive poster campaign for Union Hearing Aid Centre. Known for its tricky advertising, the client's new "vision tests" display letters in successively smaller fonts in typical eye-chart fashion—but there's quite a surprise in store. Those who can read the final line of tiny type on the poster and in the commercial are told that there's probably nothing wrong with their eyesight. But they might want to visit Union and get their hearing checked, because a "really annoying, really loud high-frequency sound" has been playing throughout the test, and those with sharp ears would've reacted to it and likely sought relief before they'd finish the exam. (The hearing center ran similar spots last year.) During the eye-test phase of the TV spot, I couldn't hear the high-pitched sound; but at the end, with the ruse revealed and the tone cranked way up, making it detectable to just about everyone, the message got through loud and clear. And given how many YouTube commenters mention being annoyed by the tone through the whole spot, I suppose I probably should book an appointment. Via Media in Canada.

Chalk Billboard, Redrawn Twice Daily, Highlights Freshness at McDonald's DDB Warsaw partners with graffiti artist for hand-crafted ads

If the crowds seem larger than usual at a certain McDonald's in Warsaw, Poland, chalk it up to the menu. We're talking about a billboard-sized menu, hand-drawn in multicolored chalk twice daily by graffiti artist Stefan Szwed-Stronzynski as part of a campaign cooked up by the local office of DDB, art studio Good Looking and Krewcy Krawcy Productions. The goal, per the creative team, is to capture "the freshness of McDonald's food" and the breadth of its offerings in a highly flexible way. I'd say they've succeeded, but no matter what this McD's is serving, the menu itself is the special of the day.

Coke Dispenses Danish Flags Hidden in Its Logo Airport stunt welcomes visitors to world's 'happiest country'

When Coca-Cola discovered that part of its classic logo looks like the Danish flag, the brand (or at least agency McCann Copenhagen) decided to make an interactive airport ad that dispenses flags. Why? Apparently it's a Danish tradition to greet arriving travelers by waving flags, and Coke wanted to help make a bigger show of the fact that passengers were arriving in Denmark, ranked as "the happiest country in the world." You can watch the results in the case study below. I personally doubt this hidden flag was a real "discovery" on Coke's part so much as a forced connection, but it's a nice gesture.

The Story Behind 'This Is Water,' the Inspiring Video People Can't Stop Watching Without permission, Glossary created an amazing homage to David Foster Wallace

It’s been viewed a million times since last night alone and has single-handedly resurrected the voice of troubled literary genius David Foster Wallace, bringing his words to a global audience that might not even recognize his name. And it was all done without permission. “This Is Water,” a cinematic interpretation of Wallace’s bleak-yet-inspiring 2005 commencement address at Kenyon College, has quickly become one of the week’s most passed-around videos. It was created by The Glossary, a small video production shop in Los Angeles. We wanted to know the story behind the video, and the team that created it was kind enough to answer a few questions. Check out the video below and our Q&A with the creators after the jump.

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Flight Attendant in Czech Drink Ad Fantasizes, 'You're All Going to Die' Because she's relaxed, apparently

The Prague office of Lowe & Partners heads into some dangerous airspace with its ad for the "relaxing drink" Zenonade, which apparently motivates a flight attendant to fantasize about all her passengers dying. Admittedly, I too find myself thinking we're all going to die whenever I get on an airplane, but I doubt this ad was delving into my paranoid subconscious so much as intentionally courting controversy. As a provocative ad for a new product, however, the spot seems to fail on two fronts: It doesn't do much to explain the product, and it hasn't even drummed up the outrage its creators had intended. (Agency CEO Martin Lochmann seemed disappointed when he told the Huffington Post that he “expected it to be worse.”) A related spot for the drink, which you can watch after the jump, avoids threats of imminent death—unless you happen to be a piece of Ikea furniture.

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Boyz II Men Will Make Love to Your Sweet Old Navy Jeans '90s R&B icons still have some mile-high moves

Strap that lap belt tight, because Old Navy’s newest airline-themed ad will rocket you all the way back to 1994. Boyz II Men are the newest retro celebs to star in Crispin Porter + Bogusky’s zany spots for the retailer, which most recently tapped the supposed T-shirt expertise of Mr. T. In the new ad, 1990s R&B romancers Boyz II Men reinterpret their hit “I’ll Make Love to You” as an ode to white jeans. It's good to see them back on the air and still rocking the ivory suits, but given the fact they only have two lines of lyrics and a bunch of “loolooloo” noises, it’s probably for the best the trio gets cut off a bit early. They’re definitely an improvement over the perennial ad cameos by Mr. T, but in this series of pun-packed Old Navy spots, I’d say the best of the lot is definitely Jennifer Love Hewitt and her “flirtation device,” which you can check out after the jump.

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Wolfenstein Trailer Takes You Into the Gears of a New Nazi War Machine Dark and stylish clip introduces franchise's next installment

I'm not sure what I was expecting from a retro gaming remake about Nazi robot armies, but this trailer surely isn’t it. (And that's a good thing.) Agency AKQA and production house Psyop have created a slick, compelling and enigmatically dark preview of Wolfenstein: The New Order, scheduled for release later this year. Wolfenstein is one of the oldest franchises in gaming, dating back to Castle Wolfenstein in 1981. Its most famous installment, 1992’s Wolfenstein 3D, allowed you to kill Hitler while he stomped around in a robotic suit, which was about as enjoyable as it was ridiculous. In the trailer below, though, we see a much darker and more ominous take on the Nazi robot, which is apparently the Reich’s foot soldier of choice in this alternate history’s 1960. The 100-second teaser clip is definitely a fine piece of commercial cinematography, but I remain skeptical that the new Wolfenstein—or any game about a guy shooting giant, goose-stepping robots—can live up to this level of gravity.

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