Word-of-mouth experts keep flapping gums

BzzAgent is yammering on about word-of-mouth ROI again, issuing a new report called "Calculating Your Communication Dividend." Players in this space devise new "formulas" or "metrics" every few months, but the "dividend" is always the same: They get some play in the media. The numbers, buzzwords (bzzwords?) and pseudo-scientific mumbo-jumbo make my head spin. BzzAgent now claims that the "profit" on an eight-minute brand conversation is 38 cents. Excuse me, an eight-minute brand conversation!? How can these BzzAgents possibly keep verbal exchanges going that long? Agent: "Nike makes good sneakers."