Here’s a pathetic story—perhaps you can help. Last night on CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360°, right after a story on Bush’s security scare, they do an “On a Lighter Note” piece called “Nameless Baby.” It’s about an 18-month-old girl whose parents still haven’t given her a name. Cooper leads in with a snide “You would think it wouldn’t be too difficult to name a baby after being pregnant for nine months,” but then lets viewers know that’s not true for Andrew Heatley and Mary Lane of Tuscon, Ariz. Then there’s footage of the parents trying to explain: “We wanted to wait to see if she had her own personality, so we decided to wait.” But they never could decide. On the baby’s first birthday, the cake said, “Happy Birthday Baby.” Because she has no legal name, the baby has no birth certificate and no Social Security number. At the doctor’s office, she’s called simply Baby Girl Lane. As the story wraps, Cooper, arms folded, clearly amazed, asks readers to log on to the show’s site and suggest names. I have one I’d like to share—how about Pam, for my Parents Are Morons?

—Posted by Alison Fahey