As AdFreak’s official Wendy’s reporter, I’m charged with informing you all that the chain has, at long last, decided what its new, customer-built burger is going to be: the Philly Style Hoagie Burger, created by screenwriter Ian Van Camp (shown here), will hit the nation’s arteries next year. (The Web site’s arteries are already clogged, given how slow it loads.) The sandwich is large, graceless and obnoxious, in true Philadelphia fashion, featuring ham and genoa salami piled on top of two beef patties, with a generous drizzle of Italian dressing for good measure. Frankly, I can’t decide if it’s a double cheeseburger or a double entendre, given how much meat he’s cramming between those buns. Maybe once Van Camp finishes basking in the adulation of the “burger community” (a collection of people who love burgers and have failed to build their identities around anything else) he can sort it out for us.

—Posted by David Kiefaber