This obviously smacks of a blatant publicity stunt, as I can’t conceive of anyone agreeing to this offer (especially at such a low price). But I’ll write about it anyway. ProShade, a company that makes a 3-in-1 visor/sunglasses/lanyard contraption, has offered $4 million to put a logoed visor on each of the four presidents on Mount Rushmore in South Dakota. Lest one get too cynical about the idea, the company said—via an e-mail news release—that its reasons for offering the hats are not entirely self-serving. “The National Park Service needs more support in preserving Mount Rushmore,” says Richard Lawrence, president of ProShade. “There’s a dearth of funding in the budget to provide the national landmark with the facelift it needs. If they accept, we’d like this to go toward preservation efforts—including a much-needed pressurized wash.” I can see the slogan now: “ProShade. Because when signing the Declaration of Independence, Jefferson was thinking, ‘Damn, it’s bright in here.’ ” Lincoln, Washington and Roosevelt, respectively, may have thought the same thing while giving the Gettysburg Address, crossing the Delaware and storming San Juan.

—Posted by Aaron Baar