Just how much bedding down takes place between the NFL and its Super Bowl sponsors? So much that the turf in Dallas will be colored Doritos orange, the game balls will be shaped like Doritos, and the halftime show will be awash in Doritos-themed 3-D. Oh, and the Big Game itself—not happening this Sunday, because Doritos needed more time to finish its bodacious babe-centric commercials and fine-tune an in-game ad that will use the power of the Doritos crunch to sack a quarterback. So says the new Comedy Central series, Onion SportsDome, with a pitch-perfect "breaking news" parody (below) that aired Tuesday night and included an NFL statement saying a Super Bowl without a Doritos ad would be "unimaginable." The indefinite delay will help other marketers, too, with Bud Light using it to pump out 30 or 40 more spots, The Onion says, and Chevrolet trying to coax "a less hateful performance out of Howie Long." See? It really is all about the commercials.