Some comebacks are truly unexpected—and unnecessary. Howie Mandel’s return to prime time springs to mind. Which leads, of course, to the press release I got today from Steak-umm. The headline proclaims: “Steak-umm returns to TV after 20-year absence.” How times flies. “The 142-spot campaign will run through mid-May.” Only 142 spots? I guess they ran kinda lean on ways to showcase thin slices of steak. In terms of imagery, the ads take the direct approach, depicting “a man and a woman biting into sub-sized Steak-umm sandwiches against high-rise and house porch backdrops.” Covers both genders as well as the urban and suburban markets. Hot Pockets must be quivering with concern. And the ads will use the ’70s jingle: “You can Steak-umm in the North/You can Steak-umm in the South/But the best part of all/Is when you Steak-umm in your mouth.” Hasn’t aged a day. Hey, they never got back to me on my Frozen Soup on a Stick proposal. I had my own jingle: “You can stick it in the North/You can stick it in the West/It won’t spill in your lap/And it tastes the very best.” That could go 143 spots, at least.

—Posted by David Gianatasio