Runners dream of three-way with victory

It’s not that we don’t appreciate New Balance’s "threesome" metaphor to keep this poor guy running (and buying their running shoes), but they’re biting off more than they can chew. An actual threesome is, much like communism, an ambitious theory that fails in practice due to confusion, frustrating boundaries, and general human error. A better model for running is that it’s the C- girl at the bar who, when engaged with enough tenacity, grants you a shot at her A+ friend: Victory.