I once had a full head of luxurious hair that, as the Bible would say, flowed “like a flock of goats moving down Mount Gilead.” (OK, so it was actually pretty nappy, but let’s not split hairs.) Since then, I’ve gradually embraced the monastic/professorial look, with the double benefit that I retained a wife well out of my league while also saving lots of money at the barber. So I always get a chuckle out of hair-growth ads that make it sound like there’s a bounty of euphoric delights awaiting men with lush noggin foliage. Now, Adrants tells us that Hair Club for Men has stepped up the preposterousness with a photo comparison advergame that shows how Playboy Playmates would totally date a guy if he had hair. Wait, I could have my own silicone-bolstered trophy skank? Oh, sweet golden tresses, why have you forsaken me?!

—Posted by David Griner