We at AdFreak don't doubt for a second that there are sports fans crazy enough to plan major life decisions around college basketball tournaments. And neither does the Oregon Urology Institute, which recently aired radio ads urging men to schedule their vasectomies just before March Madness—thus giving them a legitimate excuse to skip work and sit around watching TV for days on end. Not only does such a plan ensure that men take the full recovery time (which not all do), it also reassures guys who might feel a loss of virility that they are still manly, masculine, men’s men who like sports and beef jerky and pointless conjecture from the broadcast booth. The sports radio station airing these ads is pitching in, too, promising each patient “a recovery kit of sports magazines, free pizza delivery and a bag of frozen peas,” the latter to treat swelling and pain in the affected region. It’s such a well-intentioned gesture that I’m not going to end this post with the “balls” joke I had planned. I leave it as an exercise to the reader.

—Posted by David Kiefaber