Linoleum knife will keep moviegoers in line

Remember the Chipotle ad where the giant burrito that looks like a tampon scares the hell out of the classic dancing movie concessions? Well, here’s something funnier: metal band Mastodon’s achievement of the same laudable goal at the beginning of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie. Not only is it funny, and a better representation of heavy metal than Metalocalypse will ever be, but it’s also a genuine public service, reminding the audience not to kick chairs or explain the plot to others, that the box-office receipts will be spent on drugs, and to wait until after the feature to run over your baby in the parking lot.