Have you had your Synth Coke today?

Ah, the 1980s. When all it took to romance a twiggy, horse-faced blonde was a big mullet and a vial of booger sugar. Or in this case, a high-quality synthetic cocaine alternative, courtesy of Buzz Productions and (as YouTube commenter Michael Travis points out) the ad-parody writers for Midnight Blue, Al Goldstein’s then-current cable-TV show. Synth Coke is truly a marvel. Not only does it replicate the texture, color and altered consciousness of proper Colombian marching powder, it appears without its packaging to impress the girl, then magically leaps back into it for the close-up.