Get the door, it’s your soulmate

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Domino’s Pizza is flogging the results of an absurd study that suggests you can find true love—or least compatibility—by paying attention to people’s choice of pizza toppings. Conducted by Domino’s, in conjuction with something called the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago, the “Toppings Tell All” study claims to be able to predict attraction based on topping choices. Just one example: “If you prefer traditional single-meat toppings like pepperoni, your attraction is for a person who likes a pizza loaded with meat toppings, perhaps because you’re attracted to their unbridled zeal and passion.”