Are people seriously hung up about some stupid comment Christine O'Donnell made 11 years ago about dabbling in witchcraft? This is not a hill worth dying on. She probably said something dumber yesterday. Regardless, she's feeling enough heat from this non-scandal to make it the focus of her first general-election ad in the Delaware Senate race, in which she declares, "I am not a witch. I'm nothing you've heard. I'm you." Whatever the hell that means. Of course, now Wiccans are up in arms because they feel that their patched-together Hot Topic religion has been defamed, so this is probably going to drag on forever. We could bypass all this if they'd just test O'Donnell to see if she weighs the same as a duck, but the last thing we'd want to do now is get PETA involved.