A two-ton, 13-foot-high, 67-foot-long German woman obsessed with personal hygiene? Such a figure has long sloshed through my dreams, pursuing me with a huge loofah, which my therapist sees as a symbol of angst. Now, she's been given corporeal form by U.K. toiletries firm Soap & Glory and deposited in Hamburg's Alster Lake to "promote the art of bathing." Where is that kayaker heading, exactly? I'll need an extra session on the couch this week. The steel-and-styrofoam sculpture will grace the lake until Friday, then head off for an installation elsewhere, lest anyone think some dirty, smelly Hamburglars hauled her away. Via Gawker.