Dos Equis Invites You to Call the Most Interesting Voicemail in the World Dapper spokesman pushes your buttons

—If you are calling about renting the otter that I have trained to play blackjack, press 4.

          Sorry, but having mastered the game of blackjack with considerable ease, the otter is now off trying his luck on the world poker tour. Assuming he doesn't go bust, I expect his return by year's end. [Return to main menu]

—For my easy, low-fat blueberry muffin recipe, please press 5.

     That was a test. You have failed. Please try again. [Return to main menu]

—Whatever you do, I urge you, do not press 6. [Caller presses 6]

     Under no circumstances should you press 6 again. You are toying with forces you do not fully understand. [Caller presses 6]

          Congratulations my friend. Your daring and bravado will stand you in good stead for the rest of your life. However, I was not joking. Pressing the number 6 sets in motion a super collider, accelerating protons to near the speed of light, and smashing them into each other. Suffice it to say, there are probably going to be a few scientists that need my help. Next time, please, trust me. [Call ends]

—To hear some on-hold music, please press 7.

     Very well. [Away from the mic] Javier, Ramon—show this caller some real on-hold music. [We hear the clatter of instruments, then a band playing an extended set of salsa music, as if the Most Interesting Man has a live band just waiting to play on-hold music.] [Return to main menu]

—If you are one of the several people who left their bathing suits at my home during my recent Lunar New Year barbecue, please press 8.

     Not to worry. I have given your suit to my regular courier. We have triangulated your position, and your suit is on its way to you. Excuse me Javier, aye yay yay. Ah, oh dear, I'm so sorry. The pigeon with your bathing suit … It just got a role in an upcoming spy move … quit his job and few off to L.A. with your trunks. I'm so sorry. [Return to main menu]

—If you are a woman who has not heard from me in a while, press 9.

     First of all, my apologies, señorita. I never meant to hurt you. Our time together was brief, but it was sweeter than the honey of a high-fructose Indonesian sugar bee. Remember the rush of cage diving with great whites? [Man chuckles] That was, in my estimation, at least the third most exhilarating thing we did underwater that day. Anyway, I think the time has come for us to part ways. It's not you, it's me. Right now, I need some space in order to train for the one-armed rowing championships. I hope you understand. If hearing this message again would comfort you, please don't hesitate to press 1. [pressing 1 replays the message]

Get the The AdFreak Daily newsletter:

Thanks for signing up! Check your inbox for a confirmation email.


Sign up for AdFreak Newsletters

About AdFreak

AdFreak is a daily blog of the best and worst of creativity in advertising, media, marketing and design. Follow us as we celebrate (and skewer) the latest, greatest, quirkiest and freakiest commercials, promos, trailers, posters, billboards, logos and package designs around. Edited by Adweek's Tim Nudd.

Click to Subscribe to AdFreak RSS