Dos Equis Invites You to Call the Most Interesting Voicemail in the World Dapper spokesman pushes your buttons
The Most Interesting Man in the World is a man of few words—except when he's recording his outgoing voicemail message. Then, he (or possibly a parrot who sounds just like him) sets up elaborate automated prompts to direct his friends and fans to the most interesting information he can provide.
Dos Equis has put up a mural of the Most Interesting Man on the side of Diablo's Cantina in Las Vegas. "Looking for an interesting time?" it asks. "Call 1-888-790-7665." Doing so leads the caller to the Man's voicemail, where different prompts lead to various jokes about bachelorette parties, out-of-control blimps, blackjack-playing otters and low-fat blueberry muffins.
Below, check out the full voicemail transcript from the writers at Havas Worldwide (formerly Euro RSCG) in New York.
FULL VOICEMAIL SCRIPT
AGE GATE: Hello. You have reached the Most Interesting Man in the World. My answering machine is currently locked, and requires a password to access. Lucky for you, the password happens to be your age. Enter it now, then press pound.
IF OVER 21: Well, it seems everything is in order here. Again, you've reached the Most Interesting Man in the World. But I am not here right now. I am not even recording this message. The voice you are hearing belongs to a parrot who has learned to mimic my every vocal nuance and has taken the initiative to set up my voicemail.
IF UNDER 21: Oh no, I'm sorry, but it seems the password you entered is incorrect. I wouldn't feel right filling your young, impressionable mind with stories of moonlight jungle safaris and underwater boxing matches. Until next time, my friend. [Call ends]
—If you wish to reach Diablo's Cantina, press 0.
And by the way, if you go to Diablo's and see a one-eyed bush pilot named Crusher sitting at the bar, tell him that quilting club has been cancelled this week. [Call is redirected to Diablo's]
—If you want to speak to me directly, press 1.
Say what you have to say, then press 1. [Caller makes statement, presses 1]
Anything else you want to get off your chest? Go ahead. Then press 1. [Caller makes statement, presses 1]
Hmmmm … interesting. I hear that you, like me, are a person of actions rather than words. Our chit-chat would be a waste of valuable time. Instead, allow me to respond by karate chopping a stack of cinderblocks. If this goes awry, we may get disconnected. [Sound of cinderblocks being broken, then caller is returned to the main menu]
—If you are calling for advice, please press 2.
If you need advice about a woman, please press 1.
Please state the full name of the woman who is currently perplexing you, then press 1. [Caller states name, presses 1]
[Man chuckles] Ahhh … that name takes me back. Talk about a … firecracker. My advice: Go ahead and ride the wave, but hold on tight. [Man chuckles]. Are there any other women you would like advice about? If so, say their name and press 1. [Caller states name, presses 1]
Hmmmm. Yes, this name is also familiar. We met tracking a herd of red stags across the Nicaraguan countryside some years back. We wined, we dined. I won't bore you with the details, but lets just say, keep an eye on her, my friend. [Call ends]
If you are calling from an out-of-control blimp and need emergency landing advice, please press 2.
Now, I could tell you how you to land the blimp. But if you figure it out yourself, you'll feel a much greater sense of accomplishment. All I'll say is: Relax and be yourself. You'd be surprised how much out-of-control blimps respond to confidence. Now, hang up and take the controls. [Call ends]
If you can't find your wallet, press 3.
You left it in the silverware drawer at home. [Return to main menu]
—If you are calling about a bachelorette party, please press 3.
I do not perform at bachelorette parties. If you wish me to reconsider, press 1.
The answer is still no. [Return to main menu]
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