Do not mess with women who chew Orbit

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Orbit gum can prepare you for the tough times in life. Like when your husband cheats on you. Thanks to the strong teeth you’ve cultivated through your Orbit habit, you’ll be able to destroy his clothes, his golf clubs, his shiny red convertible, photos of the two of you, even the cables connecting his home-theater system—all by simply gnawing on them. The husband, who may himself have bitten off more than he can chew, doesn’t appear in the spot.

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