The characters in these new D'Angelo spots from Connelly Partners might be coming down off a French's mustard buzz. They sure seem irritable and prone to violence—shredding, laptop-bashing and nail-gunning the hell out of non-D'Angelo's sandwiches. I doubt even Dixie's premium plates could endure such abuse. Where were these angry maniacs when that obnoxious talking steak-and-cheese sub was stalking David Ortiz in that earlier D'Angelo's campaign? Yes, the guy in the (literally) cheesy suit was supposed to be one of the chain's sandwiches, but the emotional trauma of having to appear with the culinary monstrosity may have triggered the Red Sox slugger's current horrendous slump. A well-aimed wire brad to the head, or a Dell Inspiron to the groin, would have taught that guy a lesson. The talking sub, not Ortiz. He just needs to lay off the inside fastball. And those subs aren't doing his waistline any favors.

—Posted by David Gianatasio