Attack of the 40-foot housewife, ‘Maxim’ style

Attention, anyone flying to Las Vegas this weekend, including any friends of mine attending the National Commission on Correctional Health Care (you know who you are)—you are about to be assaulted by advertising. This comes in the form of a giant mockup of super-nauseating Maxim magazine’s latest cover, featuring highly irritating actress Eva Longoria. The overexposed Desperate Housewives star is wearing a tiny bikini, and the cover reads, "THE ONLY MAGAZINE BIG ENOUGH TO BE SEEN FROM SPACE—AND ONLY IN VEGAS!" Now, I wouldn’t want to see a copy of Maxim from across the room, so I sure as hell don’t want to see it from space.